An ironic request…

Rob-1

So, here’s the thing. I write a lot of stuff about a lot of stuff. Spiritual stuff mostly. Stuff that relates to the life of faith and the common spiritual life to which Christ calls us and into which he seeks to mold us. Blogs are vastly insufficient platforms in which to discuss such matters. But, they’re a start. Patheos, a totally cool place seeking to head such discussions has begun an online initiative to help people find “top Christian blogs.”

Because being one of no reputation is what the Christian spiritual life is about, I’m asking, ironically, for you to consider voting for me on their site. If you do, your skin will glisten like Edward’s in Twilight, your teeth will outshine Joel Osteen’s, your abs will suddenly line up in 2 rows of 3 each, and your derriere will dance like two eggs in a hanky. Thanks for your ongoing support of my blog and…for voting, which can be done right here.

; ^  )

Humbly yours (no, really), R

Conversing Through Conversations, pt. 6

Monasticism and, now, “New Monasticism” is a fascinating discussion under any circumstances. The blog at Conversations Journal sinks the communal pen into it for our July topic. Here’s my take on it.

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Conversing Through Conversations, pt. 5

A particularly poignant topic was given us for June: the Kingdom of God. Since it is such a trite and tiny topic ; ^ )  I thought I’d include my June post here, despite the fact that anything I could write on such a thing makes me quake in my shoes!

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Conversing Through Conversations, pt. 4

Slowly getting you caught up on these posts I share on Conversations Journal. Here is April’s post. Blessings and peace…R

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Conversing Through Conversations, part 3

Here is my Conversations Journal post for March of this year. In it I touch on a favorite discussion: the spirituality of home. I’d love to hear some of your own thoughts and yearnings on this most powerful of topics.

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Conversing Through Conversations, part 2

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I continue the process of sharing with you delightful friends some of the work I’ve been doing at Conversations Journal. What follows, albeit a little chronologically disjointed, is my February Conversations Journal post. You can read it here.

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crazywriter

As any writer will tell you, “write, eat, sleep, write, rinse, repeat.” I am as much scripturiant* as I am anything else. Writing has become for me, prayer. Through it I expose my thoughts, first to myself, then to a watching (and sometimes unsuspecting) world. I like to think of myself as a diamond in the rough. Who wouldn’t given the many not so glamorous alternatives? Hence, my writing has a kind of…edge to it. Informative? Yes, I suppose. Transformative? Certainly for me. Honest? As much as possible. What that means is that one will find me easily enough hiding among my words,. But it’s what I don’t say and how I don’t say it that will, more often than not, give me up to those wiser than I who see through my cynical facade.

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One of the ways I’ve been invited to live with a life-with-my-pants-down honesty is through a blog for which I’ve been contributing the past few months: Conversations. It has been refreshing to participate with some very fine people in plumbing the depths of the Christian spiritual enterprise together. This has been an honor and privilege for a guy like me – frequently disarming, leaning a little Southpark in my philosophical pathos and MLK in my political one, but polite when I need to be. Senior editor, writer, spiritual director and friend (well, so far at least!), Tara Owens, has taken a real chance on me. For this I could not be more humbled and happy.

For you followers of my blog(s), I am so deeply grateful and want to share with you the pieces I’ve proudly contributed to this fine blog and invite you to join me there even as you’ve done so faithfully here. Thus begins a journey of Conversing Through Conversations…part 1.

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Hopefully, you’ll like my pieces enough to check out others and perhaps…subscribe?

 

*Scripturiant: (those possessing a compulsion to write)

Crazy Writer pic: www.bookpregnant.blogspot.com

 

 

A Longing Still Being Fulfilled

Rob-1

It has been two and a half years since starting this blog. In that time, life has fashioned me just like it has you. I’m in the throes of developing a brand new website. I’ll keep you posted on that. Until then, I give you my very first blog post from this site that still rings true for me today. Please feel free to share with me your own thoughts, longings either fulfilled or not, hopes, dreams, frustrations…the works. Let’s do this life thing together.

Still in one peace…R

https://innerwoven.me/2011/01/31/hello-world/

Today: how one church is changing my mind about the Church

Sunday, June 2, 2013. Today, I witnessed what Kingdom life could actually be. Today, I participated in the end result of a two year process of prayer and discernment and reading and study and task forces and subcommittees and newsletters and, and…all of which resulted in a remarkable decision: we decided, 95% in favor, to leave the PCUSA and join the ECC (Evangelical Covenant Church). Today, I observed a charter Presbyterian congregation, generally older but getting younger, choose a radically new direction in order to forge a future together.

Today, one church changed my mind about the Church.

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I have served Westminster Presbyterian for almost seven years now as Minister of Worship and Music. It has been a charge not always gilded around the edges and, at times, fraught with peril and flying feathers. The church to which I first came was chaotic, dysfunctional, darkly suspicious and untrusting. They were, in a word: broken. We were front-page news in unfortunate, even scandalous ways, and were still convinced that our ship was afloat.

In my first year we lost a Pastor to admission of numerous counts of sexual harassment along with most of our staff. An artsy, indecisive, left-wing music director was forced into the uncomfortable cadre of leadership left in the wake of the human debacle that was Westminster at the time. I generally squirm in such scenarios but rose to the challenge (more or less) with fear and trembling. We were a congregation in crisis, chaos and spiritual renovation.

What got lost along the way were a bloated sense of self-importance, an uncomfortably conservative-exclusivist milieu, and pretty much all our youth and young families. It wasn’t a ghost town. It was more of a wind swept plain before spring planting. But there was to be one more storm to blow through town. His name? Well, let’s call him Roger. He came to us in the role of Interim Pastor. In a sense, it’s a bit like hiring a First Mate to steer a moving ship once the Captain has bailed. It is meant to be a short-term gig and pave the way for, what is in the PCUSA, a Designated Pastor to the end of obtaining a Senior Pastor.

Roger was a short, self-assured, theological bully. He blew into town with guns ablazin’, mouth awaggin’ and a well-oiled self-importance intact. Whatever remaining hope I had for this struggling place evaporated in the steam of his charging train, bull-in-a-china-shop, ministry style (he proudly considered himself the “bulldog pastor”). In his brief tenure (thank God), he singlehandedly destroyed my committee, a host of other committees, shouted and otherwise cajoled loudly and insistently, and pretty much insulted most everyone else. He was everything a pastor shouldn’t be. Stepping back from the experience however I’m forced to concede that the very good administrative and structural work he did not only paved the way for the coming of someone else to take his place but also, ironically, sealed his own fate.

In the trail of dust and carnage left behind we’ve hired a new Pastor, Reverend Duncan MacLeod. Duncan is a clever, winsome fellow of numerous abilities, overweening confidence (although graced with the humility lacking in his predecessor) and, most important of all, a great sense of humor. He would need that. His capable, relaxed style of leadership, together with an astonishingly humble and wise Session (elder-leaders in the Presbyterian tradition) guided us through the hazardous waters of ecclesiastical politics recently bubbling over in our denomination. The numerous, big ticket issues facing many mainline denominations have made their presence known, loudly and insistently, at PCUSA doors. The turbulent environment of this overly white, liberal, old boys club had become just poisonous enough to our particular DNA that, to be the strange animal we are and do gospel business the way we do it, we needed to vacate.

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I’ve played the church game long enough to know that many churches have split over much less than what we’ve endured. We were chartered in 1957 as Westminster Presbyterian Church, a church plant of First Presbyterian, Yakima. We’ve faced down our demons and become well acquainted with our own scar tissue. Gratefully, the strange little group to which I was first wed has become, under Duncan’s leadership, let’s say…integrated. I would now describe us as unabashedly multi-generational, multi-ethnic (at least we’re trying), politically broad, and theologically diverse congregation. Those things are important to us; important enough to make whatever adjustments necessary to assure our continued presence as such.

Is it groundbreaking? For us. Is it precedent setting? Not as such. Is it unique? Of course not. No, nothing like that. Rather, it is indicative of a congregation longing to stay together and become who we already are by embracing what we are becoming. The next time you drive by, our sign may be different but the conversation will be just as lively, the swing in our step just as jaunty, our singing just as robust, our faces a bit more wrinkled, our doors a bit more open, and our fellowship…? Rich.

Today, one church changed my mind about the Church.

(September 5th marks the seven-year anniversary of my tenure at Westminster Presbyterian Church. I love these people and will go to the wall for them. Thank you, dear friends). 

Prayer of one who is lost

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Hello…anyone,

can I call you God? or god? or what?

I am sick. My soul is sick and I am crushed.

Are you there? If you are, are you good?

Are you to be trusted?

Are you the one I should be looking for or do I wait

for someone else? something else? somewhere else?

How much does guilt, shame, blame

fortify this place of thick, impenetrable walls?

Am I wise or even smart to hope when all I see is

blackness; sorrow draped in the sickly posture of dreams forgotten,

of light full shaded?

Do not speak to me of Job like the others.

He is a fairy-tale, a mockery to me,

a dream of dust and ancient woes

far removed from this Halloween of hellish delight.

He does not speak anymore and,

unlike his, my book has an ending yet undecided,

murky, unmoving like a lake long dead.

Perhaps no ending will come at all?

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Perhaps there is no book?

Picturesque dreams no longer peek into sleep otherwise uninterrupted.

A mind instead, in broken time, refuses better context,

mocking lost memories of what I once thought was life.

When a heart bitterly refuses whatever comfort felt like,

to what do I cling? Is this to be my rebellion? My condemnation?

Am I headed for hell because of these questions?

Because, frankly,

the questions are hell enough.

For what it’s worth,

help me through one more day, this day,

if indeed there still is such a thing.