Finding Today

capelookout003

It is surprising how much time one can spend yearning for an unknown future or pining after a rose-colored past. I for one have lived too much in this unhealthy and unnecessary tension. The healthy version of the already but not yet is the glowing embers of a faith in what has already happened, what is presently happening and what is still to happen. That is a tension worth exploring.

I am speaking in more general terms. Today is like no other before it and unlike anything to come. It is absolutely unique in every way. Of course, it will have many features seemingly identical to those previously experienced that will give it a certain…predictability, at times ennui. But, for anyone seeking to practice life with God, it is anything but. Life can be routine but hardly predictable and never dull. Therefore, it pays to be consistently grateful and regularly hopeful.

I entered this day with old, familiar fears, recognizable yearnings and comfortable proclivities; the stuff that is my warp, woof and wake. God is not unfamiliar with these things in me. Nor is God particularly vexed by them since, to quote G.K. Chesterton, “sin [read all that doesn’t quite make the grade in life’s terms] is the least interesting thing about us to God.” Good thing because I’m especially gifted at it and have a few spectacular ones to my credit. Viewed through the wrong lens, they might easily be misconstrued as a jaunty tip of the hat to the devil (who or whatever that is).

To live life perched atop the twin cliffs of unfulfilled longing and unrealized dreams is to lean precariously over a bubbling cauldron of self-pity and willful blindness. That is an ugly, unwelcome concoction to be sure. It smells bad. It’s dangerous and never very fortifying. God brings so many people into my life. Some want someone to hear them laugh and rejoice. Others are hurting, needing the Jesus touch, which, at that exact moment, can only be brought by me. God is both willing and fully capable of doing so without me. But why, when I’ve been given the gift of inclusion in the secret schemes of heaven while living on earth?

The fact is that I/we, have been given life, physically and spiritually. I do not want to waste such a precious gift trying to foist upon the world the unwieldy clubs of self-pity, regret, self-doubt, self…anything. In seeking to be healed, I must seek instead to become an agent of healing. And I can only do that as I open my eyes to what my eyes first see.

In the days and months that drift lazily past like a prairie stream, things have changed. My mind has changed on stuff. I think differently about who I am and who I am not. I feel differently. I no longer feel the need to grope desperately in the darkness for any shred of passing light but, in the waning dark, revel in the growing light. As they say, “it’s a God thing.” Instead of grasping for things over which I have no control, I am striving to submit honestly and readily to things as they are; the life I am currently living.

The life I have is the one I embrace. Regardless of what may still be lacking, I lean into all that is and hope for what can be; for what is yet to come.

I am finding today.

Lusty Spring

spring flowers

 

 

 

 

The identifiable fragrance of Spring-like a poet’s muse

jumps out from behind every bush, reincarnating

the Spring before. Earlier winterish liaisons, now past,

succumb to her shameless, jaunty trysts

with a randy sun. They entangle, twisting

in whimsical lust and, in their embrace,

Summer is born.

 

Picture: www.auracoffee.co.il

Parking Lot Poems VI

HS glory days

Glory days

Why does he keep coming back?

He doesn’t belong here.

At least his buddies

still think he’s cool.

Or so they say

when they’re not

scared to

death.

* * *

Cafeteria politics

Why could she never sit here?

Her tits weren’t big enough;

her face, not pretty.

So, instead, her

answer was

always

“yes.”

* * *

Behind the bleachers

He fumbles with her bra strap,

his body hot with lust.

Her apprehensions

keep on growing;

something else

forcing

in.

 * * *

“I think I’m pregnant”

“I think I’m pregnant,” she said,

ignoring his disdain.

“Well, you wanted it,”

he said, coldly.

Then turning,

he just…

left.

* * *

Bullied

He knew that he was diff’rent.

They knew he was a fag.

They trapped him outside.

Whimpering there he,

bloodied and

alone,

cried.

* * *

Picture from www.timnaas.deviantart.com

Parking Lot Poems V

airport line

At the airport

Folks who get there the latest

always have much to say

about the line-ups,

how slow they move,

and Muslims,

behind

them.

* * *

Speeding Ticket

Sometimes the best excuse wins.

“Officer, see this hair?

If it’s not perfect

by three o’clock

I’ll never

get the

job.”

* * *

Bitch-Slap

“So, is that what you’re wearing?”

“Of course. What’s wrong with it?”

“It’s just rather…brave

to wear those stripes

with a body

that doesn’t

really…

work.”

* * *

Starbucks

He sits and faces the door.

That way, people see him.

And that’s why he’s here:

just to be seen,

with laptop

and a

smile.

* * *

fart on the elevator

From the Elevator

A strange and heavy odor

now forces through the air.

Will someone claim it?

Just disdain it?

Add to it?

It was

me.

* * *

Airport picture: www.mlive.com

Elevator picture: www.funnyordie.com

Monday

hope floats

Painting: “Hope floats” by Winnie Givot

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

The ground lay still, her humped, brown shoulders

shrug off a tacit morning mist.

“What just happened?” she seems to ask the sprawling heaven.

“Things shall once again grow here”, the answer comes.

And the cloudless sky locks eyes with the hopeful ground

and whispers, “yesterday, I tasted royal blood.”

 

Easter Freedom Through Lenten Doubt

 

the resurrection

A website on which I am blessed to share blogs is ConversationsJournal.  The following was a post I shared in February at the beginning of Lent. Today, as Easter puts an end to Lent and begins a time of resurrection celebration hinting at ascension, I wish to share it here. I trust it has been a blessed journey for you and your loved ones. Let’s continue that journey together in the mutual love of the Blessed Kingdom.

Easter Freedom Through Lenten Doubt

Peace, R

 

Picture is of “The Resurrection” by Carl Heinrich Bloch and can be found here

Be-in-tween

This poem was originally composed as a post-Easter/Eastertide piece. It has enough resurrection pictures in it however to make it fit for our purposes here. Hence, I give you my Easter Sunday poetic offering, “Be-in-tween.”

CarlHeinrichBlochThe_Resurrection

It seems an eternity for what promised eternity

to wrest itself from dark and dank and deathly cell.

Yet hours have passed, not days and still can’t be

how you would show us life before death you fell.

* * *

Everything we gave and more to stand as one

in your reverie of newness, in time of all that comes

to quell and quiver and quash the forces of un-done

that hate and hold and hammer our daughters, our sons.

* * *

Our group was tall, like trees or hills, a truth to share

to all who hear or have not strength nor shame to hold

the weight of wait for that or this, the just or fair

awakened now but still shadow, pledge, a story told.

* * *

Why leave us in such mean estate of doubt, despair and dark

when but a word, a touch, a look all pain suspends,

and move, retool, redact the tepid toil our sorry ways embark

instead to choose what not you chose but placed in others hands depends?

* * *

But now what cryptic hint of empty rock-èd tomb bestirs

this rumored gossip that comes to taunt and tease, we rue

with quivered tongue and knees that buckle unsure

if this should be a joke, another tale to ruse, all hope undo?

* * *

Silly girls, you babble, burst and blubber forth what cannot be

the news of, what, we cannot say, except impossible to hear

and still remain in dark and desperate impossibility?

No longer face we fear of ending but ending of our fear?

* * *

If this be what I think I see then torn am I from all my knowing,

abandon now my shrinking soul and bursting out with heated heart

I clutch and grasp my tightened breast, my parch-ed throat, now stowing

what vestiges remain of sadness and remorse depart.

* * *

My brothers here and sisters, too, once shattered dreams reborn

as mist of doubt and pain of loss and waves of night congealed.

To satisfy, not mystify, was your intent. You shed the scorn

of those of them and us who turned to shame, our love concealed.

* * *

Severed from the death before, now living, path and joy to bring

you settle down to chat and dine and titillate with presence rare.

All that was then is not what now seems true or right to sing,

Still, in our time be-darked, be – in – tween, you trade your joy for our despair.

Painting by Carl Heinrich Bloch

the skies, now silent and spent

stormy skies 2

the skies, now silent and spent

review their own sorry past

for all hope has fled

replaced by the wordless song

of a dead friend

Painting by Wayne Haag.

A poetic walk through the Passion

Friends, if you have not taken opportunity to visit my other blog: http://www.robslitbits.com, I humbly invite you to do so as I post a poem a day through Triduum (Three Days) and Easter. Let’s take this journey together and see where it leads.

Grace and Peace, R

Jesus nailed to the cross

http://robslitbits.com/

Hints in a meal of trouble, come

the last supper 2

 

 

 

 

 

Hints in a meal of trouble, come

while bread, still warm, newly broken

abides, hidden securely between teeth

in mouths hungry for more.

Hunger assuaged, 24 clean feet and a single, haunted table.

 

Only crumbs remain,

mixed up and jumbled in pools of spilled wine.

A rumpled table top, tussled

with detritus of a meal, but laughing, flaunting its revelry

through unknowing smiles and the heavy eyelids of sleepy friends.

 

They restfully recline, sashes loosened,

bits of meat trapped in beards,

but not without gnawing whispers of

“what now?” “What next?” “When?” And in their shared memory

of goodness sense not the coming bad; the storm clouds of betrayal.

 

An ominous, stealthy breeze sneaks through the room,

slithering past befuddled hearts

and blows its dark breath from one

whose riskless love cannot match he whose riskily painted love,

soon full-flayed and dying, cannot be matched.