Today: how one church is changing my mind about the Church

Sunday, June 2, 2013. Today, I witnessed what Kingdom life could actually be. Today, I participated in the end result of a two year process of prayer and discernment and reading and study and task forces and subcommittees and newsletters and, and…all of which resulted in a remarkable decision: we decided, 95% in favor, to leave the PCUSA and join the ECC (Evangelical Covenant Church). Today, I observed a charter Presbyterian congregation, generally older but getting younger, choose a radically new direction in order to forge a future together.

Today, one church changed my mind about the Church.

church edited

I have served Westminster Presbyterian for almost seven years now as Minister of Worship and Music. It has been a charge not always gilded around the edges and, at times, fraught with peril and flying feathers. The church to which I first came was chaotic, dysfunctional, darkly suspicious and untrusting. They were, in a word: broken. We were front-page news in unfortunate, even scandalous ways, and were still convinced that our ship was afloat.

In my first year we lost a Pastor to admission of numerous counts of sexual harassment along with most of our staff. An artsy, indecisive, left-wing music director was forced into the uncomfortable cadre of leadership left in the wake of the human debacle that was Westminster at the time. I generally squirm in such scenarios but rose to the challenge (more or less) with fear and trembling. We were a congregation in crisis, chaos and spiritual renovation.

What got lost along the way were a bloated sense of self-importance, an uncomfortably conservative-exclusivist milieu, and pretty much all our youth and young families. It wasn’t a ghost town. It was more of a wind swept plain before spring planting. But there was to be one more storm to blow through town. His name? Well, let’s call him Roger. He came to us in the role of Interim Pastor. In a sense, it’s a bit like hiring a First Mate to steer a moving ship once the Captain has bailed. It is meant to be a short-term gig and pave the way for, what is in the PCUSA, a Designated Pastor to the end of obtaining a Senior Pastor.

Roger was a short, self-assured, theological bully. He blew into town with guns ablazin’, mouth awaggin’ and a well-oiled self-importance intact. Whatever remaining hope I had for this struggling place evaporated in the steam of his charging train, bull-in-a-china-shop, ministry style (he proudly considered himself the “bulldog pastor”). In his brief tenure (thank God), he singlehandedly destroyed my committee, a host of other committees, shouted and otherwise cajoled loudly and insistently, and pretty much insulted most everyone else. He was everything a pastor shouldn’t be. Stepping back from the experience however I’m forced to concede that the very good administrative and structural work he did not only paved the way for the coming of someone else to take his place but also, ironically, sealed his own fate.

In the trail of dust and carnage left behind we’ve hired a new Pastor, Reverend Duncan MacLeod. Duncan is a clever, winsome fellow of numerous abilities, overweening confidence (although graced with the humility lacking in his predecessor) and, most important of all, a great sense of humor. He would need that. His capable, relaxed style of leadership, together with an astonishingly humble and wise Session (elder-leaders in the Presbyterian tradition) guided us through the hazardous waters of ecclesiastical politics recently bubbling over in our denomination. The numerous, big ticket issues facing many mainline denominations have made their presence known, loudly and insistently, at PCUSA doors. The turbulent environment of this overly white, liberal, old boys club had become just poisonous enough to our particular DNA that, to be the strange animal we are and do gospel business the way we do it, we needed to vacate.

Easter Praise 3

I’ve played the church game long enough to know that many churches have split over much less than what we’ve endured. We were chartered in 1957 as Westminster Presbyterian Church, a church plant of First Presbyterian, Yakima. We’ve faced down our demons and become well acquainted with our own scar tissue. Gratefully, the strange little group to which I was first wed has become, under Duncan’s leadership, let’s say…integrated. I would now describe us as unabashedly multi-generational, multi-ethnic (at least we’re trying), politically broad, and theologically diverse congregation. Those things are important to us; important enough to make whatever adjustments necessary to assure our continued presence as such.

Is it groundbreaking? For us. Is it precedent setting? Not as such. Is it unique? Of course not. No, nothing like that. Rather, it is indicative of a congregation longing to stay together and become who we already are by embracing what we are becoming. The next time you drive by, our sign may be different but the conversation will be just as lively, the swing in our step just as jaunty, our singing just as robust, our faces a bit more wrinkled, our doors a bit more open, and our fellowship…? Rich.

Today, one church changed my mind about the Church.

(September 5th marks the seven-year anniversary of my tenure at Westminster Presbyterian Church. I love these people and will go to the wall for them. Thank you, dear friends). 

She who has a name

For Lori Jane, 1963-2013. We will miss your light.

Lori Jane Henry

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

At the end of the big dipper is the North Star.

It has a name.

Like she who has a name,

who shone brightly but

whose light has gone dim,

if only until we name the others.

Daydreams – poetry from the periphery II

Edges

Sometimes, when sleep doesn’t come

and dark steals light from day,

my eyes can open

to see the light

visible

only

then.

 kids on bikes

Photo: www.cyclingisgoodforyou.blogspot.com

The sound of pavement

There’s a sound my bike would make

after a summer rain –

a contemplative

hyperbole

for what lies

beneath

me.

___

Rose-colored

Rose-colored glasses don’t lie

just because what they see

has already gone

in ways our eyes

and our hearts

differ

on.

___

Fuzzy wallpaper

I run my hands along it,

feel its textured pattern:

fuzzy wallpaper,

hung in my home

providing

hours of

fun.

 bathtub fingers

Photo: www.scientificamerican.com

Lessons from the bathtub

I’ve been in the tub for hours.

My fingers look like prunes,

skin mountain ranges,

meandering;

a picture

of my

days.

 

A final petal

broken flower

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Wait just a little longer before

pulling the final petals from this flower.

She cannot hear your deliberations

of love or not while decapitating

something so fragile.

Let this one, solitary beauty remain

broken, decimated.

But alive.

Photo: www.forsythiahill.blogspot.com

Daydreams – poetry from the periphery

              lips   

Picture: www.alliance-packaging.blogspot.com

Her lips

She has given me access

to all her lovely parts.

Most captivating

to me, by far

are her lips,

red and,

poised.

 

Afterward

They stretch out tender bodies,

limp and warm after sex.

Resting peacefully,

they find themselves

in stillness

and, in

love.

 

When we could see

When we could see the farthest,

our mouths were open wide.

Our silent words sang –

our hearts, aglow

with wonder.

Come, and

see.

 

When life makes you pause

The universe is perfect,

when all we know is love.

The best of our lives

is gratitude:

to wonder

with new

eyes.

 dangling feet

Photo: www.crystalgraphics.com

Dangling feet

The simplest pleasures we’ve known

are those without contempt

for light and goodness

personified.

Dangling feet

make sense

here.

A farewell to day

sleeping baby

 

 

 

 

 

 

Sleep will come from now till then,

and as it does, the nymphs of memory

in sash-ed drapings of delight

will abide to remove the wells of worried weight

from the dead of drowsy day.

And, for you and your beloved companions,

all shall be well.

 

Picture: www.lullabysleep.com

The truest capitalism

bank

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

In the unedited capital of nature’s governance

we hold each other’s hands,

if only to pay it forward until

the next sunrise.

Love’s richest investments pay the dearest dowries

to those who hold the keys to each other’s completion.

So, in the interest of keeping what was never ours

we deposit our richest treasures

in the vault most sacred to us –

each other.

 

Prayer of one who is lost

despair

Hello…anyone,

can I call you God? or god? or what?

I am sick. My soul is sick and I am crushed.

Are you there? If you are, are you good?

Are you to be trusted?

Are you the one I should be looking for or do I wait

for someone else? something else? somewhere else?

How much does guilt, shame, blame

fortify this place of thick, impenetrable walls?

Am I wise or even smart to hope when all I see is

blackness; sorrow draped in the sickly posture of dreams forgotten,

of light full shaded?

Do not speak to me of Job like the others.

He is a fairy-tale, a mockery to me,

a dream of dust and ancient woes

far removed from this Halloween of hellish delight.

He does not speak anymore and,

unlike his, my book has an ending yet undecided,

murky, unmoving like a lake long dead.

Perhaps no ending will come at all?

despair 2

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Perhaps there is no book?

Picturesque dreams no longer peek into sleep otherwise uninterrupted.

A mind instead, in broken time, refuses better context,

mocking lost memories of what I once thought was life.

When a heart bitterly refuses whatever comfort felt like,

to what do I cling? Is this to be my rebellion? My condemnation?

Am I headed for hell because of these questions?

Because, frankly,

the questions are hell enough.

For what it’s worth,

help me through one more day, this day,

if indeed there still is such a thing.

No more to feed the crows

crows 

When our chest, house of the heart

is laid open, nakedly shredded,

ribs cracked apart, the carrion birds

of our darkest realities

peck and stab, tearing chunks

of yesterdays, also laid bare

from the bloodied flesh of

our morose todays.

We cannot see a sky,

whether grey or blue,

when the crows come

to eat our dreams and

blacken the horizon of our hopes.

But, even a small child,

whose heart has yet to be broken

can run with heedless joy,

through the foul flock,

scattering the scavengers that lust

after a mouthful of yesterday’s bad news.

To find this one is no more

to feed the crows.

Picture: www.opednews.com

Thoughts from the beach…

I once wrote these words in commemoration of a magical time with my wife on the Oregon coast. I repost to commemorate the same, 10 years later, for an even more magical time on the Washington coast.

robertalanrife's avatarRob's Lit-Bits

Thoughts from the beach…

To commemorate a beach walk with my wife.

May 12, 2003

 

1

Beauty.  Random squalor in effortless

Wave deposits her treasure

In our efforts to build that which

Hand could never grasp we trade

Quintessential.  Queer.  Quiet for

Quantifiable.  Quick.  Casual.

Oh, such grand wordless words-

Wonder, World-watched prayers

Waiting…waiting.

That which is unseen – now

I see.

 

2

Wind-soaked beach-stained

Dark; darker still where waves

Kiss the sand of my imagination.

Flat boards float on round earth

Plays with my finitude and finer still,

Fills my earthen breath with

Deeper wind.

 

3

Dare she flits on so light a wing,

Fading into vastness, blue

The sky and water, one.

Where one defines what much cannot

In so many syllables contain

The vast smallness of it all.

View original post