Climbing up Arthur’s Seat

Arthur's Seat 5 copy.jpg

I took the long road today.

I scrambled up slow steps of the jagged, upward path-

leading to the thinner air and thicker place,

the craning neck of her yellow crown.

 

Then, for the first time, I saw.

I saw what others saw,

and failed to see.

And wouldn’t see.

 

I saw the rest.

And it was good,

so good that I came back down.

The sound of your laugh.

I first posted this a few years ago. The reason I did so then is the same I do so now, to celebrate my wife’s birthday. In the digital age, discovering a person’s age is as easy as a cursor, a mouse, and a nosy desire to know something. But, in the interest of propriety, I say simply, “Happy _____ birthday, babe!”

Like thunder in rain-Rae's birthday16.jpg

Babe, you still brighten the road before me…

What sounds are these…?

in the garden of gethemane

What sounds are these I hear

of sobs and sighing, seering pain of doubt.

If leaves could talk what might they say

of a crying God, a hopeful hopelessness wrapped in trust?

* * *

Raked across an endless heart,

the bursting bastions of familial love

come couched in terms of unsteady prayers, yearning, yet wavering.

One, two, three faltering steps toward full submission to…what?

* * *

“Must it be this way? Must this broken sentence require my full stop?

Let it be but a misstep, a simple error in divine judgment, and a world

hurled into disarray is called back again.

Must you kiss away their pain with my blood on your lips?”

* * *

sleeping disciples

Daylight friends become nighttime strangers.

Eyelids, heavy with grief, fear and confusion

flutter and fail. Closed and unseeing they become

when sharp and sure is needed most.

* * *

Jesus arrested

Gruff and groping they march,

crashing through grass, garden and grove,

sniffing and snorting with dark and heavy purpose.

A poisoned kiss stops cold their treading, hateful boots.

* * *

Two cold lips meet two warm cheeks.

Foe, one time friend, greets friend of all foes

and the world holds its breath –

pausing hell’s raucous revelry and heaven’s sonorous singing.

* * *

Ponderous parade of an army and shackled lamb

whisks down backroads to audience with puppets and clowns,

whose dirty, back-room deals deal out kangaroo justice,

promising the untimely sham of caustic, casual connivances.

* * *

Jesus sentenced

Spewing, spitting, spluttering out lies,

the venom of their dalliance denies all place for truth.

And a king receives a pauper’s sentence.

And a pauper refuses a king’s ransom.

* * *

Jesus flogged

The dam of reason well collapsed

and the hammer of hate posing as justice

falls as teeth, claws and fangs bite deep

tearing open his back. Men flay the skin of God.

* * *

He is dressed in the accoutrements of power

the punch-line of sparring, jousting jokes

fit for fools, bullies and frightened little boys

with big fists and a caged bird.

* * *

Jesus carries his cross

His walk of shame, will soon regale his fame

and repeal the petty finagling of men, insane with lust

for blood, and bone and sating their angry palettes

on the sight of sorry sacrifice.

* * *

Jesus nailed to the cross

Bones meant for healing and holding faces in tender embrace

part for fiercer spikes, a government’s answer

to the unanswerable questions posed by a hated God,

whose broken feet stay secured to the place of their forgiveness.

* * *

Jesus on the cross

Now begins, indeed, a most sinister work.

An only child, spurned by a doting Father scorns

the unsearchable pain of eternal loneliness that supercedes

a lesser pain: political torture by tiny men.

* * *

The uncertain winter sky belches forth

her mystifying darkness and the once joyous birdsong

succumbs to a silence, infinitely louder,

dripping with the shame of what shouldn’t have needed to happen.

* * *

Time’s bullseye is set in its fitting of that heaving breast,

gasping for breath, groping for a sorry excuse for waning life.

But oh, what shines forth from such battered spirit:

the alchemy of grace, a gavel strikes with love.

* * *

“It is finished” – such words, by heaven hitherto unspoken,

hang in the air like molecules of exhaled proclamation:

a deed done means another can begin,

and in 3 words, the world is forever changed.

* * *

vultures circling

Carrion collective circles high above,

the smell of death and forbidden dinner ripe in the air.

They, whoring, hope for bits of flesh, hair and bone,

meal of mangy wing-ed mongrels bent on the efforts of others.

* * *

Jesus is entombed

Not so for this diamond, bloodied, limp and alone.

A poor man’s corpse blesses a rich man’s tomb

and scented linens shroud the face of passion

that, for now at least, lie pristine and still.

* * *

Why should such a tale, so swift, so sorrowful

twist itself into our earthly fabric?

How could such shameful chaos perpetrated by pawns

undo the fickle fate of cowards and kings?

* * *

What sounds are these I hear?

They are the mournful sobs of a Mother,

the shameful cries of deserters,

the longing sighs of the dead…

Photos: http://www.artbible.info

When nothing but shade

When nothing but shade
remains on our contentments,
the leaves return
and the budding forest of unborn
dreams, breathes more loudly still,
of wonder,
aching.

 

Photo found here

Wicks and Flames

images

 

 

 

 

 

 

A candle flame, unsteady, dances to an uncertain future.

Within it, secrets caked in want, wax-tomb-embedded

lay a still brighter flame to the still darker day.

Be still,

listen to how the dying light of Persephone’s

summer, brings the long wait of Demeter’s winter.

In the cold years of months when time drags her feet

and the wick is snuffed

to light a fuse – there hides a promise –

more wick, and an ember-lit flame.

___________

Picture found here

wordlessness

Sometimes he gets stuck in the dictionary so

long that his brain becomes alphabet soup.

He wears his skin tattooed with another’s thoughts.

And he waits.

No, he frets – and sour apprehensions

swim atop a slowly scumming pond

of wilted words, reeking of lost sleep.

 

And, if reflections in the coffee shop window

are meant to serve as metaphor,

they only spur on the edict

of secondary pictures mirrored from

another’s doubting face.

 

Come then, if you must,

shadows from a cold mist to

rattle and rustle the bones.

Come, take up residence beside

one with a plasticine pencil,

pliable to cautious hands –

worthless in sweaty palms,

squeezing desperately against

the inevitable.

 

In this reverie to a ghost –

vestibule in an empty house,

birthing only the vestige of coffee-stained

intentions, a writer paces –

penning wordlessness.

 

We are eucharist

You and I – we are eucharist.

We are the slow quench and

burn of wine made well from

flaming water.

 

We are from yeast – all that nourishes

made perfect in a moment,

but only after stealing a well-oiled

gaze into the mouth of dreams.

 

We are the holy cloth, drawn lightly

upon the lip of the cup, still damp

from shared spittle and wine-made blood.

It is the kiss of the saints

blended well in silver,

refined, reflective.

 

In the comfortable day, boasting

hours poured into containers shaped by

mystery, there can be no other.

Only a thin breeze of moments –

under your fingers.

_____________

Dedicated to my lover and friend of almost 30 years – my wife, Rae Kenny. 

Pushing breath from blue

By Valerie Dodge Head
By Valerie Dodge Head

We push out, breath from blue,

like the breaking waves, alone with their thoughts,

and catch ourselves among the reeds.

Passing alone through districts of enchanting knowledge,

we cough up our meal of bones, still hungry to drown

inside a conundrum bigger than our shoes.

______

Our little oceans, best of our times, rimmed ‘round

with shortening days, the noose of our shrinking

humanity; allure, the currency of dreams.

Still, one swims in what one drinks and drinks

what washes down and around all that looks

for more horizon. Let the four-quartered moon

sing what is only heard when deafness prevails.

______

The tragedy of the good, the irony of evil, foisted

upon hearts ill-suited for the journey in.

So it seems that the only way to bleed to life

is in the unmooring of our punctured ships.

There is more room to bleed when splintered lie

our longings, long held, and drawn and bloodied

souls buoy once more upon

______

the silent, soothing sea.

 

Special thanks to dear friend and colleague, Valerie Dodge-Head for her masterful artwork which inspired this piece. 

Life lessons at Starbucks

It’s okay to let the terry-cloth

wind blow itself through your thinning hair.

When the leaves fly past

your brow in that dismissive way they leave

a glint of naiveté, a good benchmark of

personhood. Only then are you safe

from their burden of proof. It tells me you’re just passing

through these moments without

the careless disregard you hear in the stifling

words of the never-enoughs.

 

They bounce in like clumps of collagen sadness and

pose at the Starbucks long enough to trumpet

their middle-age gym accomplishments. They lust

after glances but disdain the stares as somehow

presumptuous. In their strategic peripherals, table

reflections, and body language, they burn up

the fuel of appreciation. They like

to look at everyone but speak to no one,

especially the ruse in front of them just

hoping to lock eyes even once.

 

One skin shed in favor of a second, otherwise known

as yoga pants, they reign supreme

while supplies last of crunches, collagen, and

the deceitful quagmire of wealth. Maybe

there still lay rumors of rootedness deeper

than the soles of their Nikes. If no one looks,

do they disappear? But these stolen sideways glances come

in the luster of indulgence cloaked

in the risk of diminishing returns. Gawks become stares,

then looks, then glances, then indifference,

soon to fade in the diminishment of

apathy. The well-fitted tools of acceptance

turn to mock an unpracticed self-respect.

 

He runs his own Internet business. We’ve heard him

talk about it through his phone from across

the room in his well-thought out random attire.

An overly helpful demeanor, especially as door-man for

elderly ladies, helps with the compassion capital needed

to seal the deal: successful, built, kind – what more

could one ask? His secrets perhaps. How his wife’s

breath always smells a bit like mint and gin.

 

The one on her own stages

a similar performance, from the adoring

glare of her iPhone. It buys us all

an invitation to look without penalty, the detached

appreciation she’s come to know as attention.

The bubblegum ennui fools no one. In this tiny

15 minute window, short bursts of indulgence, the silent

praise of others passes for friendship. Maybe release can

happen soon, but through the derailments of a life

forced to surface through pain. Then, instead of adoring stares,

she can see back into the blinded eyes of another,

and finally exhale.

 

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Or, try this

Or, even this

acedia

We live life as no more than

the half-shrugged shoulder of

of a sleeping giant.

Let the wasp sting,

the filth stay,

the rodents gnaw

upon last year’s dinner,

prepared by another.

 

All has become

nature’s disavowal of its own

existence, the slowly turning

roots of black.

 

Flowers remain half-open,

squinting their heavy eyes

at the persistent sun.

Happy birds – I think they’re happy –

singing desperate songs

of unbidden encouragement,

scratch, scrawl, and howl,

like every happy voice – persistent, annoying,

useless, like a dare to a dead man.

 

Everything is good.

Is anything good?

What is anything but everything in reverse?

Oh, this melancholy, cottage

industry of romantics, poets, and

those with everything better to do

and no desire for it.

 

Life is good,

or so I’m told.