Thoughts from the kitchen window

at the kitchen window by de scott evans

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

She stands

gazing out her kitchen window

with that expression

that says too much.

Her eyes betray

the meeting place of

her head and her gut.

It pulls at the need for space

with the space for need –

a balance long lost to her.

* * *

From the kitchen window

she sees her, a robin, full-throated

and proud.

Her song is persistent, ragged

and rough around the edges,

but sure, notes as they were meant to be:

bloated with joy,

brushed with pain,

saturated in the sound

of summer winds

unconcerned with propriety.

No careless, garish squawks

from this dear throat – only love.

* * *

Revealed in the ruffled folds

of her dress, a life,

though less ruffled,

still cries out for ironing.

Uneven pleats and

mismatched colors bleed into

unsecured hems.

* * *

Still, as she waits

and stares at nothing,

it says everything.

And at the place where a robin’s song

threads itself like a needle

along the coastline of uncomfortable garments

there is in her a missing reconnaissance –

like the bird feeder lacking birds.

* * *

This messy business

of life’s lovely entrapments:

friendships in the guise of interrupted

moments too bright for sunny afternoons

meant for more eyes,

the song of birds

meant for more ears

than hers.

Daydreams – poetry from the periphery III

aclk

Picture found here

Disturbance

There is a disturbance here.

It has rendered me dumb.

Life, under-the-sun,

repels itself

and blows to

greedy

death.

 

Shadow self

We are but a shadow self,

alone, till someone sees

what pains prop us up

against the backdrop

of time and chance.

Faith, alone,

brings us

home.

 

Distractions

Every time I look away

I fail to see what’s here.

What’s there is not now.

I’m here, not then,

now, not when;

living

still.

NuclearMystics_detail4_905

Picture found here

Petition

I petition one unseen

for things to which I’m blind

and yearn for mem’ry

and love’s best chance

to marvel,

rest, and

see.

 

Distillation

Life is God’s distillation

of everything brooding

beneath the surface,

where my fears hide,

revealing

my sour

drink.

 

 

 

 

Today is Grandma’s tea

For my late Grandma, Rosamond Kearns 1914-2000

I miss your tea, apple pie and, most of all, your stories.

 

There you stand, small, but unshakable;

a frail willow too weak for shade,

too pale to paint,

or uncertain to dance,

but winsome and sure.

The bastion of your mind

en-routed, but disheveled,

distracted, but joyful

gropes for never-tired stories,

fondles the moments and

strains after voices of nobler days.

Your siren song,

once allergic to melancholy

whispers notelessly, looking for shape

in the notes of the long, lazy journey

back home, the place of

satin-edged afternoons

and doilies under teacups.

Full of happy times,

you sip the hot, sweet satisfaction

and taste yesterday’s laughter

on well-worn faces.

Today was always better than

tomorrow mirrored against yesterday.

It stands

alone,

unheralded by that which is past,

unremembered by that which will come.

Here, you can stand tall, unshakable,

stronger now because

life has steeped long enough to pour

from your well-stained cup

our well-brewed tomorrow.

For one left behind

For Randy Henry, whose hopeful tomorrows come at the expense of painful todays. We suffer with you, dear brother.

Randy and Lori

And like the flowers dry and few

in dust, unveiled in sidewalk cracks,

these words may just, in part, renew

the seasons spent like melted wax.

* * *

The silences of friends remain

the best of words in time of spoil.

Their tender glances probe the pain

absorbing tears, and sharing toil.

* * *

This gruesome tear upon your soul,

it’s lancing gash no mercy knows.

But fill again this gaping hole

with wholeness, robust summer rose.

* * *

So now embark, dear friend, once more

to journey’s end, a start to find.

‘Tis here we stand on healing, sure

of hope ahead, and loss, behind.

 

Today: how one church is changing my mind about the Church

Sunday, June 2, 2013. Today, I witnessed what Kingdom life could actually be. Today, I participated in the end result of a two year process of prayer and discernment and reading and study and task forces and subcommittees and newsletters and, and…all of which resulted in a remarkable decision: we decided, 95% in favor, to leave the PCUSA and join the ECC (Evangelical Covenant Church). Today, I observed a charter Presbyterian congregation, generally older but getting younger, choose a radically new direction in order to forge a future together.

Today, one church changed my mind about the Church.

church edited

I have served Westminster Presbyterian for almost seven years now as Minister of Worship and Music. It has been a charge not always gilded around the edges and, at times, fraught with peril and flying feathers. The church to which I first came was chaotic, dysfunctional, darkly suspicious and untrusting. They were, in a word: broken. We were front-page news in unfortunate, even scandalous ways, and were still convinced that our ship was afloat.

In my first year we lost a Pastor to admission of numerous counts of sexual harassment along with most of our staff. An artsy, indecisive, left-wing music director was forced into the uncomfortable cadre of leadership left in the wake of the human debacle that was Westminster at the time. I generally squirm in such scenarios but rose to the challenge (more or less) with fear and trembling. We were a congregation in crisis, chaos and spiritual renovation.

What got lost along the way were a bloated sense of self-importance, an uncomfortably conservative-exclusivist milieu, and pretty much all our youth and young families. It wasn’t a ghost town. It was more of a wind swept plain before spring planting. But there was to be one more storm to blow through town. His name? Well, let’s call him Roger. He came to us in the role of Interim Pastor. In a sense, it’s a bit like hiring a First Mate to steer a moving ship once the Captain has bailed. It is meant to be a short-term gig and pave the way for, what is in the PCUSA, a Designated Pastor to the end of obtaining a Senior Pastor.

Roger was a short, self-assured, theological bully. He blew into town with guns ablazin’, mouth awaggin’ and a well-oiled self-importance intact. Whatever remaining hope I had for this struggling place evaporated in the steam of his charging train, bull-in-a-china-shop, ministry style (he proudly considered himself the “bulldog pastor”). In his brief tenure (thank God), he singlehandedly destroyed my committee, a host of other committees, shouted and otherwise cajoled loudly and insistently, and pretty much insulted most everyone else. He was everything a pastor shouldn’t be. Stepping back from the experience however I’m forced to concede that the very good administrative and structural work he did not only paved the way for the coming of someone else to take his place but also, ironically, sealed his own fate.

In the trail of dust and carnage left behind we’ve hired a new Pastor, Reverend Duncan MacLeod. Duncan is a clever, winsome fellow of numerous abilities, overweening confidence (although graced with the humility lacking in his predecessor) and, most important of all, a great sense of humor. He would need that. His capable, relaxed style of leadership, together with an astonishingly humble and wise Session (elder-leaders in the Presbyterian tradition) guided us through the hazardous waters of ecclesiastical politics recently bubbling over in our denomination. The numerous, big ticket issues facing many mainline denominations have made their presence known, loudly and insistently, at PCUSA doors. The turbulent environment of this overly white, liberal, old boys club had become just poisonous enough to our particular DNA that, to be the strange animal we are and do gospel business the way we do it, we needed to vacate.

Easter Praise 3

I’ve played the church game long enough to know that many churches have split over much less than what we’ve endured. We were chartered in 1957 as Westminster Presbyterian Church, a church plant of First Presbyterian, Yakima. We’ve faced down our demons and become well acquainted with our own scar tissue. Gratefully, the strange little group to which I was first wed has become, under Duncan’s leadership, let’s say…integrated. I would now describe us as unabashedly multi-generational, multi-ethnic (at least we’re trying), politically broad, and theologically diverse congregation. Those things are important to us; important enough to make whatever adjustments necessary to assure our continued presence as such.

Is it groundbreaking? For us. Is it precedent setting? Not as such. Is it unique? Of course not. No, nothing like that. Rather, it is indicative of a congregation longing to stay together and become who we already are by embracing what we are becoming. The next time you drive by, our sign may be different but the conversation will be just as lively, the swing in our step just as jaunty, our singing just as robust, our faces a bit more wrinkled, our doors a bit more open, and our fellowship…? Rich.

Today, one church changed my mind about the Church.

(September 5th marks the seven-year anniversary of my tenure at Westminster Presbyterian Church. I love these people and will go to the wall for them. Thank you, dear friends). 

She who has a name

For Lori Jane, 1963-2013. We will miss your light.

Lori Jane Henry

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

At the end of the big dipper is the North Star.

It has a name.

Like she who has a name,

who shone brightly but

whose light has gone dim,

if only until we name the others.

Daydreams – poetry from the periphery II

Edges

Sometimes, when sleep doesn’t come

and dark steals light from day,

my eyes can open

to see the light

visible

only

then.

 kids on bikes

Photo: www.cyclingisgoodforyou.blogspot.com

The sound of pavement

There’s a sound my bike would make

after a summer rain –

a contemplative

hyperbole

for what lies

beneath

me.

___

Rose-colored

Rose-colored glasses don’t lie

just because what they see

has already gone

in ways our eyes

and our hearts

differ

on.

___

Fuzzy wallpaper

I run my hands along it,

feel its textured pattern:

fuzzy wallpaper,

hung in my home

providing

hours of

fun.

 bathtub fingers

Photo: www.scientificamerican.com

Lessons from the bathtub

I’ve been in the tub for hours.

My fingers look like prunes,

skin mountain ranges,

meandering;

a picture

of my

days.

 

A final petal

broken flower

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Wait just a little longer before

pulling the final petals from this flower.

She cannot hear your deliberations

of love or not while decapitating

something so fragile.

Let this one, solitary beauty remain

broken, decimated.

But alive.

Photo: www.forsythiahill.blogspot.com

Daydreams – poetry from the periphery

              lips   

Picture: www.alliance-packaging.blogspot.com

Her lips

She has given me access

to all her lovely parts.

Most captivating

to me, by far

are her lips,

red and,

poised.

 

Afterward

They stretch out tender bodies,

limp and warm after sex.

Resting peacefully,

they find themselves

in stillness

and, in

love.

 

When we could see

When we could see the farthest,

our mouths were open wide.

Our silent words sang –

our hearts, aglow

with wonder.

Come, and

see.

 

When life makes you pause

The universe is perfect,

when all we know is love.

The best of our lives

is gratitude:

to wonder

with new

eyes.

 dangling feet

Photo: www.crystalgraphics.com

Dangling feet

The simplest pleasures we’ve known

are those without contempt

for light and goodness

personified.

Dangling feet

make sense

here.

A farewell to day

sleeping baby

 

 

 

 

 

 

Sleep will come from now till then,

and as it does, the nymphs of memory

in sash-ed drapings of delight

will abide to remove the wells of worried weight

from the dead of drowsy day.

And, for you and your beloved companions,

all shall be well.

 

Picture: www.lullabysleep.com