“Follow Me” – a Litany

How good it is whenever we leave all false agendas, desires, plans, schemes, thoughts – selves behind and obediently follow the Rabbi without hesitation.

…and he said to him, “Follow me.”

How good to imagine a world where those without hope are given hope because the community of Jesus follow the leading of their Master and Teacher and bring this hope in all they say and do.

…and he said to him, “Follow me.”

How good to be hosts of Presence keeping company with sinners, tax collectors, lepers and the outcasts of society.

…and he said to him, “Follow me.”

How good to have ears that hear the voice of Jesus calling to us, urging us to follow him wherever he goes participating with him in bringing the new wine of God’s kingdom to light around us.

…and he said to him, “Follow me.”

How good to live before God every moment with godly sorrow for our sin, fully embracing our brokennesses in honesty and authenticity.

…and he said to him, “Follow me.”

How good to celebrate with all whose repentance brings new life and an accompanying deep life change even when such celebration causes raised eyebrows.

…and he said to him, “Follow me.”

How good never to allow ourselves to succumb to religious peer pressure that traps one in the smothering flames of imposed, ungodly parameters of faith life, ways of living that lessen the Gospel in us.

…and he said to him, “Follow me.”

How good never to succumb to the same judgmental spirit which produces and perpetuates religious peer pressure. “Father forgive them, for they know not what they do.”

…and he said to him, “Follow me.”

How good to taste the old, complexly rich and fragrant wine of our forebears while working in the vineyard alongside the Master Winemaker.

…and he said to him, “Follow me.”

How good to stand in the middle of our lives, looking left and right, to find those of ill repute and the despised with whom to drink new wine.

…and he said to him, “Follow me.”

How good to stand in the place where others are, be the voice of Jesus calling to them, saying “follow me” and teach them how to catch others in the net of grace.

…and he said to him, “Follow me.”

How good to be those who hold the redemptive instruments of grace at the bedsides of the broken together with our great Physician.

…and he said to him, “Follow me.”

How good to bring encouragement to all whose “bridegroom” has been taken from them either by sickness, death or malfeasance.

…and he said to him, “Follow me.”

How good…

How good, indeed.

Praise be to the Lord of all lepers, losers, limpers and lovers!

…and he said to him, “Follow me.”

back-roads-from-cascades.jpg

Roadside infatuations

I have wandered down this creek-side road

with a kind of curious ebullience –

a roadside infatuation with hard-to-pull weeds.

The long cool of it disrupts the day long

enough to breathe in the dust,

to hear the gravel crunch beneath these boots –

and let my eyes wander

                                    upward

                                                where the clouds compete

                                                            with geese and hours,

and poetry the color of rain.

The sound of your laugh.

I first posted this a few years ago. The reason I did so then is the same I do so now, to celebrate my wife’s birthday. In the digital age, discovering a person’s age is as easy as a cursor, a mouse, and a nosy desire to know something. But, in the interest of propriety, I say simply, “Happy _____ birthday, babe!”

Like thunder in rain-Rae's birthday16.jpg

Babe, you still brighten the road before me…

Now

An iron clutch without hope of release

gives way to an embrace

where death and dragons are vanquished

with a kiss from the once dead lips of the truest man.

Yesterday, too ordinary to see –

today, too bright to miss –

unless you were looking elsewhere.

And the happy songs of women

tell of news we should never have heard.

Dullards refuse, and, breathless now, men must admit

what was then has become heaven’s now.

 

 

When pages turn…

Hirst, Claude Raguet-553332.jpgWhen it comes to the spiritual enterprise, I’ve always found delight in the iconic metaphor of wandering. My best guess is that it most capably represents my propensity for being lost in places even blind people navigate with ease – a hallway to the bathroom, the distance from upright to nosedive, or retracing my steps from mall to parking lot. 

It has found its way into my songs for years. 

There are innumerable metaphors employed by the writer’s pen to describe transition, or passaging, as I like to call it. We “turn over a new leaf” or perhaps move from “night into day,” “turn on a light” or some such thing. Such metaphors reach for the deeper comparisons within us between what was, what is, and what is yet to come. 

But this is different. Wandering isn’t the right metaphor here. This feels less like seeking something out than coming to terms with what is; a new normal. In that way, it is more the turning of a page in a book with more chapters read than yet to read. 

I begin with a few words I wrote upon turning 50 a couple years ago:

“Our lives are a series of passages. One tributary leads to another, which in turn yields to something else on its way to waterfall or harbor, estuary or eddy. At times we are stuck, unmoving. Or so it seems. To be stuck can actually be a decision not to decide something. Perhaps it’s a slow, deep spot before being sucked back out into the rapids where we easily lose our sense of direction and the not unreasonable expectation that we’ll fly ass over tea kettle into the frothy spray. There are even times when our boat slows almost to a crawl and we find ourselves in the enchantments of a Pirates of the Caribbean style rendezvous with delight.”

In the chapter that is my work at Yakima Covenant Church, specifically with friend and colleague Duncan A. MacLeod, a page has turned. A new estuary has emerged requiring caution and intentionality, things I am not always known for. Like me, he too is passaging, seeking to ford new streams of possibility with their own risk and reward. He is writing a new chapter in a book yet unfolding (and a rather smelly, farm-y type one at that!). 

“Whatever the case may be it should be our goal to passage well. That is, when faced with life’s bone-chilling decisions, we learn to listen for the most gracious, compassionate means by which to navigate such. Bad transitions lead to less than adequate skills needed for the yet more difficult passages to come. They also create a sinkhole of insecurity since we’ll just have to face similar rapids again later but with one more failure to our credit….I want to say goodbye well, with class, grace and compassion. A goodbye that puts a Gospel period at the end of a glorious sentence.”

Learning to passage well has many rewards. Fewer regrets I suppose might be one. But, more than that, in the ever-expanding journal of our meandering lives, a clarity of chapter markings brings a satisfaction to the sojourner of adequate closure before moving on to another part of their story. It expresses a sense of poise and, ultimately, denouement to our lives that those whose eyes watch us for signs of the Divine are longing to see. More than anything else, how we transition through the passages of our lives reveals the level of our trust in the unseen God making Godself seen – through us. Through you. Through me.

So, then, with the same trembling, inadequate faith with which I’ve typically faced these passages, I do so now once more. Who knows, perhaps this time I’ll have matured enough, even sub-atomically, to the point where I can help lead others in the same challenges?

But, then again, that would be faith in faith, not in God.

 

Picture found here

 

 

What sounds are these…?

in the garden of gethemane

What sounds are these I hear

of sobs and sighing, seering pain of doubt.

If leaves could talk what might they say

of a crying God, a hopeful hopelessness wrapped in trust?

* * *

Raked across an endless heart,

the bursting bastions of familial love

come couched in terms of unsteady prayers, yearning, yet wavering.

One, two, three faltering steps toward full submission to…what?

* * *

“Must it be this way? Must this broken sentence require my full stop?

Let it be but a misstep, a simple error in divine judgment, and a world

hurled into disarray is called back again.

Must you kiss away their pain with my blood on your lips?”

* * *

sleeping disciples

Daylight friends become nighttime strangers.

Eyelids, heavy with grief, fear and confusion

flutter and fail. Closed and unseeing they become

when sharp and sure is needed most.

* * *

Jesus arrested

Gruff and groping they march,

crashing through grass, garden and grove,

sniffing and snorting with dark and heavy purpose.

A poisoned kiss stops cold their treading, hateful boots.

* * *

Two cold lips meet two warm cheeks.

Foe, one time friend, greets friend of all foes

and the world holds its breath –

pausing hell’s raucous revelry and heaven’s sonorous singing.

* * *

Ponderous parade of an army and shackled lamb

whisks down backroads to audience with puppets and clowns,

whose dirty, back-room deals deal out kangaroo justice,

promising the untimely sham of caustic, casual connivances.

* * *

Jesus sentenced

Spewing, spitting, spluttering out lies,

the venom of their dalliance denies all place for truth.

And a king receives a pauper’s sentence.

And a pauper refuses a king’s ransom.

* * *

Jesus flogged

The dam of reason well collapsed

and the hammer of hate posing as justice

falls as teeth, claws and fangs bite deep

tearing open his back. Men flay the skin of God.

* * *

He is dressed in the accoutrements of power

the punch-line of sparring, jousting jokes

fit for fools, bullies and frightened little boys

with big fists and a caged bird.

* * *

Jesus carries his cross

His walk of shame, will soon regale his fame

and repeal the petty finagling of men, insane with lust

for blood, and bone and sating their angry palettes

on the sight of sorry sacrifice.

* * *

Jesus nailed to the cross

Bones meant for healing and holding faces in tender embrace

part for fiercer spikes, a government’s answer

to the unanswerable questions posed by a hated God,

whose broken feet stay secured to the place of their forgiveness.

* * *

Jesus on the cross

Now begins, indeed, a most sinister work.

An only child, spurned by a doting Father scorns

the unsearchable pain of eternal loneliness that supercedes

a lesser pain: political torture by tiny men.

* * *

The uncertain winter sky belches forth

her mystifying darkness and the once joyous birdsong

succumbs to a silence, infinitely louder,

dripping with the shame of what shouldn’t have needed to happen.

* * *

Time’s bullseye is set in its fitting of that heaving breast,

gasping for breath, groping for a sorry excuse for waning life.

But oh, what shines forth from such battered spirit:

the alchemy of grace, a gavel strikes with love.

* * *

“It is finished” – such words, by heaven hitherto unspoken,

hang in the air like molecules of exhaled proclamation:

a deed done means another can begin,

and in 3 words, the world is forever changed.

* * *

vultures circling

Carrion collective circles high above,

the smell of death and forbidden dinner ripe in the air.

They, whoring, hope for bits of flesh, hair and bone,

meal of mangy wing-ed mongrels bent on the efforts of others.

* * *

Jesus is entombed

Not so for this diamond, bloodied, limp and alone.

A poor man’s corpse blesses a rich man’s tomb

and scented linens shroud the face of passion

that, for now at least, lie pristine and still.

* * *

Why should such a tale, so swift, so sorrowful

twist itself into our earthly fabric?

How could such shameful chaos perpetrated by pawns

undo the fickle fate of cowards and kings?

* * *

What sounds are these I hear?

They are the mournful sobs of a Mother,

the shameful cries of deserters,

the longing sighs of the dead…

Photos: http://www.artbible.info

the non-plan

If not for this, then all would be that,

and when forsakes why,

and time gasps for breath.

Stand still with nowhere left to go.

Sing these notes now,

these words for this, not that,

waiting for the longer wait;

the unplanned non-plan;

all counting, forsaken, in the business of nothing –

and watch what yet will come.

A road for our story

In those long and pasty days,

wrung out with the common befuddlements of

our race, there can seem to be no

end to the tributaries,

soggy back roads,

sullen detours, the personal politics

of working in a chain gang fog.

 

The sun, warming and full, is the same to

saint and sinner, soldier and sailor.

But doubly-parsed is its heat, meted out to all,

recklessly packaged for warmth, whim or want –

hope to one, threat to another, necessity to all.

 

Yet in between the particles of dreams lie

the pocked and random picture of our days.

To hoist and heft, backs bent and necks strained,

seems lighter when singing – or laughing because

the joke is good.

 

To laugh means more when everyone hears

the same words but the punchlines are different.

And only the skilled purveyor of the phrase, delicately

turned and timed with skill, can help the cautious and

skeptical, proud and aloof, naïve and wide-eyed alike

to get in on something good.

 

The better the tale, the shorter the toil.

So we dig deep to find the best tales straining

to sort and sift and make sense of 

the broken, unpatterned pieces

strewn about the edges of things.

 

So, with subtle indirection, the toolbox of yearning

wed to oratory, wed to a cloud of unknowing,

expecting nothing more than a tale well told,

comes the bard and we are given –

 

a road for our story.

_____________

Dedicated with great respect, gratitude, and love to pastor and friend and retired bard, Duncan A. MacLeod

Hiraeth – making peace with longing

I figured St. David’s Day was a good reason to reblog part 1 of a 6-part series I wrote last year on the Welsh-Celtic idea of “hiraeth.” Come, join me for the journey!

robertalanrife's avatarinnerwoven

contemplation

“The human heart is a theater of longing” -John O’Donohue (Eternal Echoes)

The Celts have a concept, Hiraeth (here-eyeth). It is a Welsh word, about as difficult to define as it is to pronounce.

Let’s try.

It might be defined as a longing, a homesickness for a home to which one can never return. It is the unrequited hope that produces ever more unanswered longing. It is a grieving for the lost places and moments of one’s past – a sense of loss for loving moments and places, fondly remembered. It sits in the dream world where longing, belonging, home, and wanderlust meet.

I’ve lived my entire life in this terrible, wonderful, aching place, rarely able to make sense of it but never able to escape it. I like to think I’m a complex mystic. Others I’m sure simply dismiss it as the cross-eyed musings of a artsy moron. But…

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25

Valentine’s Day, although a convenient Hallmark construct, is still a good day to tell special ones you love them. I wrote this a couple years ago in celebration of our 25th wedding anniversary. It all holds just as true today. Love you, babe.

robertalanrife's avatarinnerwoven

Rae

When I look at her I see a few extra pounds, a slight sag on one side of her face, the residual effects of a Bell’s Palsy and a few extra facial lines every year. I see someone whose love for life is second only to her love for risky adventure. Most likely, one has fed the other. I see an olive-skinned, brown-eyed, Welsh-born, Canadian-raised girl whose voluptuous curves still captivate and tantalize me. I see a face wiser from pain, hands tougher from hard work, a smile gentler and more thoughtful from raising two complicated, wonderful sons and a brow somehow more relaxed from having weathered innumerable storms, many of them my sorry gift to her.

There is a bite to her wit, at once caustic but ultimately harmless. There is a joy in her step even if that means tripping more than is generally possible for the average…

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